As a child I moved around a lot because of my father’s work, but by the time I reached seventh grade, I had been in six different schools. I isolated myself at an early age because I was afraid of making friends that I would eventually have to say goodbye to. In school I was very shy, and I didn’t feel like I fit in.
When I started working at age 18, I quickly discovered alcohol and bars; drinking gave me courage and made me feel like I fit in somewhere. Soon I started to drink just to get drunk; then I began to discover other substances. This was the beginning of a forty-year addiction. It is truly a miracle that I am able to tell my story today.
I had many jobs and lived in many different states; I looked for ways to change but my addiction went with me. The last 10 years of my addiction took me to a dark place. I suffered from depression, failing health, and I had no self-esteem. I no longer could live with drugs and alcohol, but I couldn’t live without them either. The pain began to be so strong that I was willing to do anything to be free, so I reached out for help.
People were put in my life, and I found I was not alone. With time, help, and by the grace of God my obsession with drugs and alcohol was gone. I was able to see that my addiction to substances was a symptom, and the problem lived in me. I found I could change my life; I chose to be clean and sober! I have found that I have fears, and worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace. I no longer had to use drugs of alcohol go deal with life. I pray every day and share my experiences with others who suffer from the disease of addiction. I take time to stop and admire the beauty of life. I thank God for being free of this obsession, so I can be a member of society and my community. I would also like to thank those who had the foresight to start and organize Carbon Recovers. Giving me the outlet and resources to help others, and tell others there is help.
This is why I am sharing my story. You are not alone! There is no shame for an addiction; We have a disease, it is not a choice. Reach out to someone, there is help!
Again, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Recovery is possible.